Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit/Transcript

PC Mackintosh: (first lines, whistling, then stops when the glass shatters and a cat yowls while hearing from offscreen) Ah! (continues walking and whistling)

(A shadow is cast on a building with a sign that says "Grow Bigger Veg". Cuts to PC Macntosh walking. Cut to the POV of a creature in the bushes while PC Macntosh stopped whistling while leaving. Lip licking and smacking can be heard as it moves out of the bushes, turns left of a Harvey’s store, and goes to the gate of someone’s garden that has a sign that says "Protected by Anti-Pesto". Cuts to a shot of the latch on the gate opening. Cuts back to the creature’s POV as it goes into the garden.]

(Cut to a gnome. A few moments after the creature passes by it, smacking its lips again, it turns its head to the camera and its eyes start blinking red, The camera fades to a portrait of Mrs. Mulch, whose eyes are blinking. The camera zooms out on Wallace’s wall who has portraits of citizens of West Wallaby Street. The camera pans to a kettle boiling with steam shooting out, spinning a wheel, making a mechanical arm push up Gromit’s bed multiple times. Cuts to Wallace in his bed. A mechanical hand holding a plate of cheese comes out of his cheese portrait. Wallace smells it and goes for the cheese. He hits his head on the picture when the mechanical hand goes back in with the cheese. The bone in Gromit’s bone portrait blinks red and flips to blinking red text that says "ACTIVATE LAUNCH". Gromit and Wallace get pushed onto metal slides by their beds. They are held still by metal racks at the end of the slide for their caps to get twisted on. The slides tilt the other direction for them to slide down into their boots. Their tea is poured for them. They grab their mugs of tea. The metal platform that they are on turns around to two mechanical hands who shoot them off like a catapult. Wallace falls into his Anti-Pesto uniform. Wallace and Gromit slide down. They clink their mugs, causing their tea to fly out. They catch it with their mugs. They drink their tea as they are sent up into their seats in their Anti-Pesto van. They place their mugs on silver platters. The van’s headlights turn on. Wallace presses a button that says "AUTOSTART". A mechanical hand comes out with a winder and starts winding up the engine. Wallace adjusts the rearview mirror as the garage door goes up. Wallace presses the gas pedal, sending the van driving over the road after being flipped from a lake. The gate goes open for it to go through. Gromit holds up a little grabber and Wallace shakes his head. Gromit holds up a big grabber and Wallace gives him a thumbs up and nods his head. Wallace pulls the brake switch. The van stops and Wallace and Gromit roll out through the door. They slam up against the gate of the garden where the creature went through. Wallace pops a hole through the gate for him to look through. The creature pops up and growls at him. Wallace hides from it. He signals Gromit. Gromit holds up a bag. Wallace holds up a hammer. Gromit nods his head. Wallace throws the hammer at a nail on the gate and turns it. Gromit flips over the fence into the garden and catches the creature.)

Wallace: (kicks the gate open with his big grabber) Oh ho-ho! Cracking job, Gromit! (Gromit slides around with the creature in the bag) Hang on, old chum.
Mr. Dibber: (peeks head through window) What’s going on?
Mrs. Girdling: (peeks head through window) Who is it?
Wallace: Reel him in, lad! To me. To me. (catches the bag with grabber) Gotcha! Thieving monster.
(Gromit pulls the bag off, revealing a rabbit with a big pumpkin. A door opens. They see Mrs. and Mr. Mulch.)
Mrs. Mulch: Ooh! Me prize pumpkin. Me little baby. Me pride and joy. You’ve saved it, Anti-Pesto.
(The rabbit sniffs as it turns its head left.)
Wallace: (offscreen) It was nothing at all, Mrs.-(the rabbit leaps at the pumpkin; cuts to him) Ohhhh!
Mrs. Mulch: Ahh! (grabs her pumpkin) Oh no!
Wallace: Everything’s under control!
Mrs. Mulch: Oh! Ah!
Wallace: Don’t worry, madam.
(Mrs. Mulch hits Mr. Mulch in the gut, sending his teeth flying into the rabbit’s mouth causing it to fall over)
Mrs. Mulch: Thank you, Mr. Wallace.
Wallace: (picks up the rabbit with his grabber by the neck) All in a night’s work, Mrs. Mulch. Ha!
(Gromit stretches his cap.)
Mr. Mulch: Ah. Cute little feller, isn’t he? You’d never believe they’d cause so much damage.
Wallace: Oh, he may look innocent, sir. But left to his own devices, this is the ultimate vegetable-destroying machine.
Rabbit: (turns around and smiles, showing the teeth) Hee! (waves)
Mrs. Mulch: Oh! Reg, me teeth!
(Wallace and Gromit get in their van.)
Wallace: Job well done, lad. (shuts the door) Subject disarmed and neutralized.
(Gromit drives him and Wallace away. Neighbors applaud)
Reverend Hedges: Bless you, Anti-Pesto! With you out there, protecting our veg, (offscreen) the most important event of the year is safe. (the camera panned up to a banner that says "Tottington Hall Giant Vegetable Competition 4 Days to Go!")
Mrs. Mulch: (offscreen) Aye. (cuts to her walking to Reverend Hedges) And I hope they give them pests what’s coming to ‘em, and all.
Reverend Hedges: Amen to that, Mrs. Mulch.
Mrs. Mulch: Mmph!
(Cuts to a panning shot over some knives. Gromit chooses a knife, sharpens it, and raises it… to chop a carrot. He puts the carrot slices on a plate. He dumps the carrot slices into the rabbit pens. In one of the pens a rabbit and a bunch of other rabbits come to the bowl to eat the carrot slices. Cuts to Gromit. He takes the lid off of a teapot and a rabbit pops out,)
Rabbit: (hops out over Gromit) Whee!
(Gromit sees rattling in the bunbox. He opens it and sees three rabbits eating three buns. They throw the buns at Gromit.)
Rabbits: (hop into the fridge) Whee!
(Gromit grabs a wooden spoon and walks to the fridge. He opens it and his eyes widen when he sees the fridge, and a bowl inside it, empty. The rabbits are in the fridge door. Gromit slowly turns around and the rabbits jump at him and attack him.)
Rabbits: (laughing)
(Gromit picks up the rabbits in both hands. One of the rabbits in his right hand hit him with the wooden spoon. The rabbits laugh. The rabbit that hit Gromit blows a raspberry at him. Gromit throws the rabbits in the pens.)
Rabbits: Whoa! Whee!
(Gromit’s callbox beeps. Cuts to Wallace pressing his service box.)
Wallace: It was a long, hard night last night, Gromit. I need a good hearty breakfast under me belt.
(Gromit walks to the switch and pulls it.)
Wallace: (offscreen) Pile it up, lad. (cuts to him; slides out of his bed) I’m in the mood for fooooooooooooooood! (gets stuck through the hole) (stammering) Gromit, old pal. (cuts to Gromit) Happened again. I’ll need assistance.
(Gromit pushes his cart to the assistance switch. He pulls it, making a big hammer appear.)
Wallace: (gets smashed) Ow! (falls into his chair) Oof!
(He has his shoes, trousers, sleeves, and shirt put on for him.)
Wallace: Uhh! Oh, well, thanks, chuck. I’m sure that hole’s getting smaller. (Gromit gives him the newspaper) Ha! Another successful night. Hmm, how are the inmates? Must be getting a bit full down there. (stomach grumbles) Talking of which. Now, for a great, big plate of… (Gromit lifts the lid off the dish revealing a cabbage leaf, two celery sticks, two slices of cucumber, and a carrot) vegetables. (Gromit nods his head) (laughs) Ah, (pats Gromit’s head) still got me on the diet, eh, Gromit? Watching me shape? (laughs) There’s a good dog.
(Wallace moves one of the celery sticks and stops.)
Wallace: Oh, ooh, uh, Gromit, lad? How is that prize marrow (melon) of yours coming on? Must be a while since you measured it.
(Wallace puts the celery stick to his mouth again and moves it away. Cuts to Gromit pressing 8-4-2-5 to open his greenhouse. He moves his cart to the right of his marrow. He pulls the blanket off of the marrow and feels it. Cuts to Wallace walking to the window where he can see the greenhouse.)
Wallace: Mmm! (points to vegetables) Lovely food! (to himself) For rabbits, that is.
(Gromit measures the marrow with the tape measurer. It measured to 37. Cuts to Wallace pushing his vegetables into some rabbit pens with a knife.)
Wallace: As for me, I need something a bit more cheesy.
(He moves his finger over some books with cheese-pun titles.)
Wallace: Aha… (pushes the "Grated Expectations" book back)
(Gromit is watering his marrow. Cuts to the books lifting up, revealing a cheese tray.)
Wallace: Hee, hee, hee! Ooh.
(He looks around and opens the cheese tray and moves his hand towards it. Cuts to Gromit about to cut off a leaf on his marrow.)
(snap)
Wallace: (offscreen) Ohh!
(Gromit snips the leaf off. Cuts to Gromit getting a mouse trap off of Wallace’s hand.)
Wallace: Oh ho ho, oh, uh, caught red-handed, eh, lad? …(sigh. Gromit rolls his eyes) I’m sorry, Gromit. I know you’re doing this for my own good, but, the fact is, I’m just crackers about cheese. Look, if I must change me ways, at least let me do it my way. (pushes a pepper shaker down) With technology. (pushes a button) It’s time we tried my latest invention. The Mind Manipulation-omatic.
(The Mind Manipulation-omatic goes down onto Wallace’s head. Wallace presses a button and it snaps on his head.)
Wallace: Ah! It extracts unwanted thoughts and desires. I haven’t tested it yet, but it should be perfectly safe. Just a bit of harmless brain alteration, that’s all.
(Wallace pulls a switch, but is interrupted by the telephone.)
Wallace: Uh! Oh. (picks up the phone) (Gromit wipes his forehead) Anti-Pesto Humane Pest Control. How might we be of assistance?
Lady Tottington: Ah, yes. Lady Tottington here, of Tottington Hall.
Wallace: (over phone) Your Ladyship! (cuts to him) This is an honour. (hits his hand on the Mind Manipulation-omatic) Ow!
Lady Tottington: It’s a disaster! I have the most terrible rabbit problem. (cuts to Wallace; over phone) The competition’s only days away. You simply have to do something.
Wallace: Certainly ma’am. (to Gromit) I think we’re about to go up in the world, lad. (to Lady Tottington) Just stay right where you are, your Ladyship, and we’ll be with you in an-(presses button and goes up) Aaahhhhhhhhhh! (hits the ceiling)
Lady Tottington: In an hour? I can’t wait an hour. I’ve got a major infestation. Hello? Hello? Hmm. (doorbell rings) Ah, that’s more like it. (walks to the door and opens it) Thank goodness you’ve-oh.
Victor: (holding bouquet of roses) What-ho! (laughs) For you, my love.
Lady Tottington: (takes roses) Victor, how lovely, and… unexpected.
Victor: Heard you had a spot of rabbit bother and toodled straight on over to sort the little blighters out.
Lady Tottington: Gosh, that’s awfully sweet of you. But you really needn’t bother.
Victor: It’s no bother, little boo-boo. It’s the least a chap could do for his filly. Don’t want pests spoiling our beautiful manor house, do we?
Lady Tottington: "Our" manor house? No one’s mentioned marriage, Victor.
Victor: (chuckles) All in good time, my dear. (pulls out gun) Vermin first though, what what. Come on, Philip.
Philip: (sticks head up) Hmph! (follows Victor)
Lady Tottington: Victor? (follows after them) We can deal with this humanely.
(Cuts to the Anti-Pesto van driving to Tottington Hall.)
Wallace: Oh-ho! Very classy. Just the sort of client we should be dealing with, eh, lad?
(The van stops at Tottington Hall. Gromit gets out and throws the grabber at Wallace. Wallace goes to a rabbit, opening his grabber. Wallace looks up.)
Wallace: Oh. (camera zooms out revealing loads of rabbits) Burrowing bounders! They must be breeding like… well, rabbits. Only one thing for it, lad.
(Gromit presses a button with a label that says "BV6000" next to it. A giant tank comes out from behind the van.)
Lady Tottington: Victor, hadn’t we agreed? No more thoughtless killing.
Victor: Quite right, my dear. So I’ve thought this one through very gracefully. (points gun at rabbit) It’s off to bunny heaven for you, big ears!
Rabbit: (holds hands up) Ah!
Lady Tottington: Victor! No!
(The rabbit covers its eyes. It gets sucked into a hole before Victor shoots.)
Victor: What the?
(Cuts to the rabbit zooming through the burrow and into the tank which has lots of rabbits behind the Anti-Pesto van.)
Wallace: Champion sucker, eh, Gromit? (Gromit gives Wallace a thumbs-up gesture) The Bun-Vac 6000. (holds onto a pipe where the rabbits are getting sucked up)
(Cuts to a shot of some rabbits getting sucked down into holes. Cuts to Wallace.)
Wallace: This’ll impress her Ladyship.
Victor: (pointing his gun down into the hole) I don’t understand. It should’ve been a bullseye.
Lady Tottington: Oh, Victor. I felt we made a real breakthrough with this hunting obsession of yours. I really thought you changed.
Victor: I’m sorry, Campanula, but I am what I am. There’s no nonsense with Victor Quartermaine. What you see is what you get. (gets his toupee flies off)
Lady Tottington: Ahh!
Victor: What the?!
(Victor’s toupee gets sucked down into a hole. Victor turns to Lady Tottington smiling and then reaches to the hole to get his toupee back, but gets sucked down. The nozzle of the Bun-Vac 6000 starts rattling.)
Wallace: Sounds like a really big brute, this one.
(Gromit sees Victor’s toupee in the tank.)
Wallace: Give it some more welly.
(Gromit pulls a switch that sucks Victor down. Philip chases after Victor, barking.)
Lady Tottington: Gosh!
(Victor hits a white pole. Philip hits the pole too. Gromit turns around to see them. Victor keeps going through the burrow and into the nozzle of the Bun-Vac 6000.)
Wallace: Oh! Maybe I should’ve used a bigger nozzle.
Lady Tottington: (offscreen) Ah! (cuts to her) Anti-Pesto, you’re here.
Wallace: (removes his cap) Your Ladyship.
Lady Tottington: My darlings!
(Wallace puckers his lips, but Lady Tottington goes to the Bun-Vac 6000.)
Lady Tottington: You’re safe.
Wallace: Oh. (chuckles)
Lady Tottington: My word! What a fabulous job you’ve done. And not a single one harmed.
Wallace: (laughs) The old BV6000, ma’am. (stammering) Capable of 125 RPM. That’s rabbits per minute.
Lady Tottington: How inspired! Mr.?
Wallace: Oh, uh, Wallace.
Lady Tottington: Mr. Wallace. Is this all of them?
Wallace: Oh. Just one left. Hoist her up, Gromit.
(Gromit pulls a switch, sending Victor up with his head in the nozzle.)
Wallace: Ah! (moves his finger over his neck to Gromit)
(Gromit presses a red button that turns off the vacuum and Victor falls down into the dirt.)
Victor: (spits out dirt)as Philip licks him
Lady Tottington: Victor, stop fooling around in the dirt and have a look at this. The ingenious Anti-Pesto have completely dealt with my rabbit problem! Isn’t it marvelous?
Victor: Marvelous? (pushes his nose on Wallace’s nose) Marvelous?! This confounded contraption virtually suffocated me! Besides the job’s only half done! How do you intend to finish these vermin off. Crush ‘em? (kicks the tank) Liquidize ‘em?
Lady Tottington: They’re humane.
Victor: Humane? Well, then perhaps they’d be humane enough to (pushes his nose on Wallace’s nose) give me back my dignity. (to Wallace) I want… (turns to Lady Tottington) toupee, please.
Wallace: Oh, grand. We take check or cash.
Victor: Toupee, you idiot! My hair is in your machine!
Wallace: Oh no, it’s only rabbits in there. The hare I think you’ll find is a much larger mammal.
Victor: (growls) (pushes Wallace away) Out of my way, fool. (reaches in for his toupee, comes out and puts it on his head) I’m sorry, my dear, but I refuse to suffer any further humiliation at these blundering nitwits. (the toupee is a black rabbit, the other rabbits with panicked faces wave goodbye)
Wallace: Uh…
Victor: I therefore bid you good day. (walks off)
(Philip growls holding Victor’s gun in his mouth and walks off with Victor.)
Lady Tottington: Thank you for ridding me of a real problem, Mr. Wallace. (Wallace gets in the van) But tell me, what exactly will you do with all these rabbits?
Wallace: Oh, uh, trade secret. Heh, heh.
Lady Tottington: Yes. I’d be happy to let them roam free if it wasn’t for the competition. But they do so love their veg. It’s in their little bunny natures and you can’t change that, can you? (laughs)
Wallace: No. (laughs) (gasps as the light on the van turns on) (to Gromit) Or can you?
(Cuts to cellar doors opening, showing the full moon.)
Wallace: Why didn’t we think of it before, lad? The solution to all our storage problems. Simply by connecting the Bun-Vac to the Mind Manipulation-omatic, we can brainwash the bunnies. (laughs) Rabbit rehabilitation. Once cured of their anti-social veg-ravaging behavior, (presses a button) the rabbits can be safely released without fear of re-offending. (the Mind Manipulation-omatic snaps on his head) (looks up to the moon) Just a little lunar power to enhance the mind waves…
(The lunar panels turn to the sides of Wallace and open up.)
Wallace: …and we can begin. (pulls a switch) Veg bad. Veg bad. Veg bad.
(Gromit facepalms)
Wallace: Say no to carrots, cabbage, and cauliflower. Well, come on, lad, what are you waiting for? Turn on the BunVac. Full suction.
(Gromit pulls the switch to "SUCK" and turns the Bun-Vac 6000 on.)
Wallace: Ah! Eee! Ooh! Eh! Eee! Oh! It’s working, Gromit! Ah! It’s working! Oh-hoo! (offscreen) Their tiny bunny brains are being saturated in my veg-free mind waves. (onscreen) Ah!
Rabbits: Ah!
Wallace: (pulls out an "Ay-Up!" magazine) Another 30 minutes of brainwashing should suffice. And then we can move onto the conditioning. (kicks the switch to "BLOW") Ah!
Rabbits: Ah! (get sucked up)
Wallace: Ooh!
Rabbits: Ooh!
(One rabbit gets sucked up through the tube and into the Mind Manipulation-omatic with his head touching Wallace’s head.)
Wallace: Ahh! Eee! Gromit! (breaks Mind Manipulation-omatic off and starts hopping around) Ah, ah! Eee, ah-ha! Switch it off!
(Gromit switches the Bun-Vac 6000 off, sending the rabbits falling down.)
Rabbits: Whee!
Wallace: Get it off! Ooh, ooh, ooh! Oh! Get it off me, lad! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! Ahh, ah, oh-ha! Ah, ha, eee, ah, oh!
(Gromit grabs a monkey wrench and breaks the Mind Manipulation-omatic. The mind waves fly around Gromit.)
Wallace: (with the rabbit on his head) Oh, thanks, lad. (grunts as he gets the rabbit off his head; breathes) Quick. Give us a carrot.
(Gromit gives Wallace a carrot and he gives it to the rabbit.)
Rabbit: (whimpering) (sniff, sniff) (turns away in disgust) Ahh!
Wallace: Oh! It worked, Gromit! A reformed rabbit! (puts the rabbit in a cage) We’ll call him Hutch, shall we? (offscreen) Come on. Let’s get the kettle on. We’ll see to him in the morning.
(Gromit follows Wallace upstairs. Hutch starts twitching.)
Wallace: (wearing bandages on his head; drawing pupil on white ball with marker) Oh-ho. I feel we’re on the cusp of a real breakthrough, lad. (puts eye near other eye on the wall) Mankind, freed from rabbit problems forever. (Gromit puts a teabag in the teapot) (chuckles as he puts an eyeless portrait of Lady Tottington on the walls with the eyes through the eyeholes) Lady Tottington will be impressed.
(Cuts to Gromit in the greenhouse holding onto his marrow as a track from The Plant Suite plays. He puts the blanket onto the marrow. He sets the blanket to "COSY". He marks off September 13 on his calendar. Gromit goes outside and presses the password to shut the greenhouse for the night. Mr. Caliche shuts his vegetables.)
Mr. Caliche: Good night.
Mr. Dibber: (presses orange button on turtle statue, turning the laser eyes on and shuts it) Sleep tight.
Mrs. Mulch: (holding onto her pumpkin) And don’t let the bedbugs bite. (presses red button on the gnome, turning its blinking eyes on and shuts it)
(Gromit opens the door and looks back at the greenhouse before going inside the house. He shuts the door behind him. The lights inside the house turn off.)
Wallace: (offscreen) Good night, Gromit. Sweet dreams, old chum.
(The camera pans to the open cellar. The camera pans down to a bunch of rabbits cowering in fear at Hutch’s hutch shaking. Hutch breaks his hutch open. Cuts to a shot of the church.)
Reverend Hedges: (offscreen) (praying) Protect and nourish the frail and the weak, O Lord. (cuts to him) Let them grow big and strong under Thy loving care. (camera pulls back, revealing that he is talking about his vegetables) In fact, let them grow bigger and stronger than anyone else’s, so the first prize might be mine! (drops water on his vegetables) Aaaaaaa-men! (picks up a basket of carrots) A harvest offering to bind the deal. (chuckles) (leaves his greenhouse) ♪We plow the fields and scatter the good seed on-♪ (twig snaps) Eh? (looks around the cemetery) Hmm. (clears throat; locks greenhouse) (humming; walks to his church; hears lip smacking) Huh? Nah. (chuckles; goes in) ♪He sends the snow in the winter…♪
(From the Were-Rabbit’s POV, it goes into the church.)
Reverend Hedges: ♪All the gifts around us are sent from-♪ (creaking, candles go out) Heavens above. (turns around) Hello? (a candle falls over) Hello? Is anybody there? Mrs. Mulch? (what looks like the viewers are coming towards him) Please, come forward, whoever you are. There’s no need to be afraid.
Were-Rabbit: (slurps and smacks lips)
Reverend Hedges: Ah! You’re hungry! Then, please, take what you like. It is for the needy after all. (the Were-Rabbit looms up to him) N-N-No.No! No! (bumps the table) No!
(Reverend Hedges moves his hand to a cross, then grabs two cucumbers and make a cross out of them.)
Reverend Hedges: Mercy!
(The Were-Rabbit eats the cucumbers.)
Reverend Hedges: Ah… (faints)
(The Were-Rabbit eats the vegetables over Reverend Hedges.)
Were-Rabbit: Ohh! (throws cross)
(The Were-Rabbit crashes through the window and leaps through the cemetery. and leaps through the cemetery, then grabbing the top, then with an alarm blaring, then grabbing the food, then swallowing, then grabbing the tomatoes, and putting into a cart, then smashing everything. Even Mr. Growbag shines his flashlight at the cloudy swirling pattern the beast made, then cut to Gromit, waking up, looking at all the pictures blinking while beeping, then turning off the stove, then looking at the refrigerator, then callbox beeping "breakfast", then sitting on a chair)
Wallace: (gets smashed by the hammer offscreen) Ow! [falling on the chair] Morning, Gromit.

[he has sleeves, shoes, shirt to put on]

Wallace: A pest-free night per… chance?

[throws a newspaper, saying, "Night of Vegetable Carnage!"]

Wallace: Lummy day.
[cut to church]
Mr. Dibber: It’s a disaster.
Miss Blight: Me garden’s ruined.
Mr. Windfall: It’s carnage out there.
Mrs. Mulch: Where were Anti-Pesto?
PC Mackintosh: Simmer down. Simmer down, now. [the guests stop] Right. One at a time, if ya please.
Miss Thripp: We pay good money for our crop protection.
Mr. Crock: If ya can’t deliver the goods, maybe you should keep your traps shut!
[gives a broken Anti-Pesto to Wallace]
Mr. Growbag: I never saw such cauliflower carnage. Worse than the Great Slug *Blight of ‘32, when there were slugs the size of pigs.
Mrs. Mulch: Growbag’s right. The slugs are back!
Miss Blight: The slugs are back!
PC Mackintosh: That’s enough! That’s enough!
[the guests stop]
PC Mackintosh: Look, [takes the hat off, showing a bald head] This flippin’ vegetable competition causes nothin’ but trouble every year.
Mr. Windfall: Here we go.
PC Mackintosh: If ya ask me…
Man: Get on with ya!
PC Mackintosh: Know what? I’ll tell ya. [the townspeople are discussing the attack on their vegetables] If ya ask me, this was arson.
Mr. Caliche: Arson?
PC Mackintosh: Aye! Someone arsin’ around.
[they all chuckle]
PC Mackintosh: That’s right. One of you lot. A man.
Reverend Hedges: This was no man.
Man: What are you saying?
[they all gasp]
Reverend Hedges: [rolling in a wheelchair] Does a man have teeth the size of axe blades? [The churchgoers gasp. He rolls to PC Mackintosh] Or ears like terrible tombstones? By tampering with nature, forcing vegetables to swell far beyond their natural size, we have brought a judgement upon ourselves.
PC Mackintosh: Hey! Give over!
[the lady stops playing the piano, then closing the piano]
PC Mackintosh: You’re mental.
Reverend Hedges: And for our sins, a hideous creature has been sent to punish us all! Repent! Repent! [to the viewers, with some other churchgoers looking at us] Lest you too, taste of wrath of [turns to the broken window] the Were-Rabbit! [doors swing open on their own]
[shows a picture frame with a Were-Rabbit crashing from a window]
Woman: This is terrible! What’s going to happen to us?
Reverend Hedges: Doomed!
Woman: What’s going to help us?
Mr. Caliche: What’s to become of the show?
Miss Thripp: We live for that competition.
PC Mackintosh: Get off me.
Miss Thripp: We’re simple folk. It’s all we have. Who will save us?
PC Mackintosh: Get… Hey!
[Victor arrives at the door, shooting a gun]
Victor: A Were-Rabbit? Oh, come, come, now. I do believe the vicar’s been to the communion wine again.
[the statue falls on the ground, Philip growls]
Victor: What we are dealing with here is no supernatural rabbit. It’s a big fellow, perhaps. But a mortal creature of flesh and blood. A matter easily dealt with by a hunter.
Lady Tottington: Guns will not be necessary, thank you, Victor. [She is behind a podium with a light above her and wings on both her sides resembling an angel] Hasn’t there been enough destruction? [Victor pouts as he shifts behind a pitchfork with 2 red and black thorns as he centers by it, resembling a devil's appearance] I believe the killing of fluffy creatures is never justified. I say we give Anti-Pesto a second chance.
Victor: What? How on earth would those tiny-minded buffoons ever catch such a big rabbit?
Lady Tottington: Mr. Wallace? [the churchgoers stare at him]
Wallace: Well… With a big trap.
[Gromit slaps his face]
Mr. Crock: By Jove. He’s… He’s got it!
Miss Blight: Genius!
Man: Genius! Brilliant.
Mrs. Mulch: What a great idea!
Mr. Growbag: Clever.
Lady Tottington: You see, Victor, there’s hope for the vegetables yet.
Victor: Not the ones I’m looking at.
Mr. Dibber: That’s me boys! [after Wallace shakes hands, he makes the hand gesture, as Lady T. performs the same]
[cut to a van with a paper of Lady Tottington, saying, "Good Luck Boys"]
Wallace: Love, Gromit. That’s the biggest trap of all. The "tender trap," they call it. And that’s what we’ll use to catch this thing. Yes, lad, a lovely lady rabbit.
[shows the lady rabbit, dancing, which is Gromit tied to ropes like a ventriloquist's dummy]
Wallace: How could any hot-blooded rabbit-beast resist?
[cut to Mr. Mulch, holding a pipe in his mouth, looking at a big rabbit, then putting a watering can in his mouth]
Wallace: [looking at a big rabbit] Oh, come on, Gromit. A bit more, you know, alluring.
[Gromit dances with the big rabbit]
Wallace: Very cheeky.
[Gromit continues with the big rabbit, then stepping on a button, then gives her a wink]
Wallace: [laughing] That’s more like it, lad. How can we possibly fail now?
[the big rabbit points to a wall]
Wallace: You’re a total knockout.
[the big rabbit slams on a wall, sending Gromit up to the ceiling, then the van stops, then getting out of the van]
Wallace: Stick around, lad. [he begins to get the big rabbit] Should fix back on quite easy.
[Gromit falls to the floor of the van, then getting out, then closing a door, then getting back in, using it by knitting, then moon begins to reveal, then continues knitting, the to cut to Harvey’s store, then turning on the radio, then hearing a noise, then the gate slams, then getting out of the van, then honking, then they hear an electrical shock, then getting back in the van, then the carrot bounces on the van with an electrical shock saying, "Harvey’s", being broken, then the vegetables throw out by breaking a window, then the vegetables roll out, then continues honking, then the creature passes by, then driving by a garden with a jack-’o-lantern on the scarecrow, then the Were-Rabbit leaps on a van, then flying, then screeching the tires by stopping, then driving back, then smashing the pumpkin, with a Were-Rabbit in the garden, then pressing a button saying, "Lasso", then the mechanical hand comes out with a lasso, then pressing the button while pushing the lever, then grabbing the Were-Rabbit, then the Were-Rabbit with a lasso around goes by Gromit, by hitting a sign with bell effect, then a yellow sign saying, "Tow Away Zone", then continues to drive by the hedge, and at the garden while stopping, then the Were-Rabbit goes in the hole, then going while screeching, then going in the hole, with a Were-Rabbit chasing, then pulling a switch, saying "Heavy Loam", then the dirt covers the van and rumbling the garden, then breaking the gate, then ruining the garden, then a gnome coming at a window]
Mrs. Grindling: Nighty-night, me lovelies. [closing the door] Think big now.
[cut back to Gromit in van while rumbling the garden, then locking the door, then Mrs. Grindling gasps, and sees the rumbling garden, screaming, then unlocking the door]
Mrs. Grindling: No!
[the broken greenhouse falls in the hole, then breaking, wiping the carrots from a window, then seeing the dirt, then hitting on the wheel, causing the airbag to go on, then Gromit tries to get out of the hole, then light selects to "De-Ice", "De-Mist", and "De-Mud", then shaking the dirt off, then getting out of the van, then looking around where the Were-Rabbit goes, then opening a broken door. He sees Wallace with a phone, along with his portraits blinking in unison]
Wallace: Yes yes. Em, Mr. Dibber? Oh don’t worry. No. No. Well, I’m very sorry, Mrs. Mulch. We’ll get there as soon as we can. Mr. Dibber. Oh, yes. Can I call you back? Mrs. Girdling. A tunnel you say?
Mr. Dibber: What do you intend to do about this?
Wallace: Oh, ha ha. I’ll look into it. [unplugs the telephone, and the blinkers] So where did you get to, lad? I thought I told you to stay put. It’s gone mad around here. I thought we were supposed to be a team.
[Gromit looks at the Were-Rabbit’s footprints]
Wallace: How are we ever gonna catch this thing if you go gallivanting off on your own all the time?
[Gromit crawls out]
Wallace: You’re doing it again! Where are you going now? Gromit! Gromit!
[Gromit looks at the rabbits, twitching while looking]
Wallace: Really, lad. You do realize I’ve made a personal promise to Lady Tottington. How is this sort of behavior going to get us any nearer to finding a rabbit-monster?
[looking at a cage with a rabbit, creaking]
Wallace: Hutch. Oh, Gromit. We’ve created a monster. Hutch is the beast.[The fully-grown rabbit twitches] The lunar panels. They must’ve over -stimulated Hutch’s primitive bunny nature. And now, when the moon appears, he undergoes a hideous transformation.
[the rabbit grows, then they all twitch, then continues growing, then belching, Gromit waving at the rabbit, then they stop twitching. Gromit waffs away the smell]
Wallace: Oh, Gromit. This is absolutely... Fantastic! Don’t you see, lad? OK, so we’ve created a veg-ravinging rabbit-monster. But we’ve also captured it. [lets go of the the rabbit] Just like I promised Lady Tottington. I’ll go her and tell her the good news. Make sure he doesn’t escape. [closing the door] Bye!
[Hutch sneezes. Gromit uses the saw by cutting the wood, then using the chainsaw to cut the wood, then using a hammer by pounding a nail, then grabbing the rope by by closing the box, then closing the jail doors, then using some nails on the box, then rotating the wood on the box, and on the box, we see a water cooler, crawling out the door, closing the door, then locking it, putting the wood on the door, looking at footprints of the Were-Rabbit, then crawling up the stairs, then slow crawling, while looking at footprints at Wallace, then looking at a door with a cheese on a sign, saying, "Wallace’s Room" on the door. He opens the door with vegetables on the bed. Gromit's eyes shake, realizing that Wallace is the Were Rabbit. as the scene transitions to the manor's bells ringing]
Lady Tottington: Mr. Wallace.
Wallace: It’s the beast, your Ladyship. I bring great news.
Lady Tottington: Gosh, how exciting. Please, do come in.
[Wallace stamps on the ground, then going in the building, then Gromit drives at the evening sky with a sun]
Lady Tottington: Well, this is simply spiffing news. [She pours Wallace tea] With the beast in captivity, the competition can go ahead as planned. You saved the day, Mr. Wallace.
Wallace: It was nothing, your Ladyship.
Lady Tottington: So modest. Oh, please, do help yourself.
Wallace: Thanks. [takes a flower, then eating it]
Lady Tottington: I so appreciate you coming all this way to let me know, Wallace. Tell me, are you a vegetable-lover yourself?
Wallace: They’re growing on me.
Lady Tottington: Then come with me. There’s something very special I want to show you.
[the feet shakes Wallace’s ear, then Gromit stops the car, then opening a door]
Lady Tottington: Hop in.
Wallace: It’s very snog.
Lady Tottington: It’s my Jacob’s ladder. [pushing a feet lever] And it goes all the way to heaven.
[Gromit looks at a window with Wallace and Lady Tottington go up the elevator, then they both arrive at the greenhouse]
Lady Tottington: Welcome to my inner sanctum, Wallace. My secret garden.
Wallace: It’s a veritable vegetable paradise. [He hops like a rabbit after each word]
Lady Tottington: I just knew you’d love it. Unlike Victor. He’s never shown any interest in my produce.
Wallace: His hoss, Lady Tottington.
Lady Tottington: Please, Wallace. Call me Totty.
[cut to Gromit climbing up a ladder, then crawling to the greenhouse, looking at the big watermelon]
Lady Tottington: If anything were to happen to my vegetables, I don’t know what I’d do. [Gromit opens a window] I’m sure you understand, Mr. Wallace. I can see that you’re a true nature lover.
Wallace: Oh, yes. Yes, I am.
Lady Tottington: At first, I thought I could change Victor. [Gromit grabs a tomato] Now I’m not so sure.

[Gromit throws a tomato in the pot]

Lady Tottington: Do you think a man can change, Wallace?
Wallace: Change? Oh, yes.
Victor: [cutting some flowers] Really, Phillip. The things one does for love. [hums the wedding theme]
[walks while holding the flowers, then looking at a van] Pesto.
Lady Tottington: Mr. Wallace.
Wallace: Oh, Totty.
Victor: Totty? [throws the flowers to the ground]
[Phillip smashes the flowers]
Lady Tottington: I’d like to show you one last thing. Something no other man has ever seen. My carrot de Chantenay. [Wallace's eyes widen] Just smell it, Wallace. Feel its silken flesh.
Wallace: Oh, yes.
Lady Tottington: Isn’t it the most sumptuous, succulent specimen you’ve ever seen?
Wallace: Yes!
Lady Tottington: Doesn’t it fill your heart with desire?
Wallace: Yes!
Lady Tottington: Just imagine what it would taste like.
[Gromit throws at a stalk to turn the shower on, then they both scream. Back at the van...]
Wallace: What on earth were you thinkin’ of, lad? Ruined a perfectly good piece of fashionable knitwear, that did. To say nothing of a relationship with an important client.
[the van drives closer to the sign saying, "Road Closed"]
Wallace: It’s lucky for us her Ladyship was so understanding.
[the van turns left to go in the woods]
Wallace: Honestly, I don’t know what’s got into you lately. [The van goes to a bumpy area] And slow down for pity’s sake. You’ll buckle me trunions.
[the van stops]
Wallace: Don’t worry. I’ll see to this. You stay here where you belong. In the doghouse. [closing the van door] Right. [he tries to lift the big branch] It’s heavier than it looks.
[camera zooms into the broken tree, then cut to a mirror, then the axe throws on the branch]
Victor: I know your little secret, Pesto. I know exactly what’s going on.
Wallace: Your Lordship…
Victor: Yes. You think you can pilfer my filly, don’t you?
[Gromit tries to get out of the van, the Phillip closes the van door, barking]
Victor: You think you can con an innocent woman out of her fortune?
Wallace: Who, me?
Victor: Well, I got here first! [As Victor's talking, Philip begs to come in, but Gromit shakes his head no] I’ve spent a long time reeling in that fluffy-headed bunny-lover. And I’m not about to let some puddle-headed peasant poach her from me. Comprenez?
Wallace: Right-o. I’ll be off then. Ta-ta.
[the rubber band starts to stretch out of an axe]
Victor: You’re not going anywhere, Pesto.
[the rubber band flies at Wallace hitting the big branch]
Victor: Not until I’ve taught you a jolly good lesson. [puts a coat on the axe] Come on! Queensberry rules! Put ‘em up, ya little pipsqueak.
[Wallace starts to shake]
Victor: You’re shaking. Don’t tell me you’re a scaredy-cat as well as a scoundrel. [Gromit locks both front doors knowing something might happen.] And don’t think acting like a big girl’s blouse will get you out of it. There’s no mercy with Victor Quartermaine. [punching Wallace, then throwing Victor on the window]
[Victor looks to see Wallace transforming into a teeth of the Were-Rabbit]
Victor: What the dickens?
[he continues transforming into a Were-Rabbit]
Victor: What on earth…?
[he continues transforming into a Were-Rabbit, with a tail out, then ripping clothes out, then Phillip wants to hide, then Wallace growls into a Were-Rabbit]
Victor: Phillip! Attack! Attack!
[he digs out from under the van]
[the Were-Rabbit holds a big branch, then throwing, then howling, then the rabbits howl, then stamping on the ground with Victor, vibrating on top, then sniffing, then leaving, then they hear a thunderclap, then fixing the toupee, then starting the van, screaming leaving Victor on the ground with a toupee off, then going, then getting up. Later, it's raining]
Victor: Vicar! Vicar! Oh, where the devil is he?
Reverend Hedges: [opening a window] Do you want to confess?
Victor: I want you to talk about the beast. [thunder strikes]
[closes the window]
Reverend Hedges: [holding a candle] Everything you need to know is in this book.
Victor: [looking at a magazine saying, "Nun Wrestling: Big Bad Hits! Get Ready to Wimple!"] "Nun Wrestling."
Reverend Hedges: No. I meant this one. [puts a book saying, "The Observers Book of Monsters by Claude Savagely", then opening a book with Loch Ness Monster, then turning the pages with Bigfoot, Were-Cow, and Were-Rabbit] Here. Here it is. The hideous monster plaguing our parish.
Victor: The Were-Rabbit.
[Reverend Hedges leaves]
Victor: So it’s true.
Reverend Hedges: The beast lurks within all of us, my child. The side that emerges at night as the moon rises into the sky. The side that savagely rips the leaves off any innocent cabbage.
Victor: Spare me the sermon, Vicar. Just tell me how I kill him. I mean "it."
Reverend Hedges: To kill such a creature would require nerves of steel and a bullet. [thunder]
Victor: A bullet? [thunder strikes again]
Reverend Hedges: A bullet. [thunder strikes once again]
Victor: A bull… [thunder strikes, Victor closes the window] What kind of bullet?
Reverend Hedges: A bullet of pure gold. [opening the doors, then seeing three gold bullets]
Victor: Gold.
Reverend Hedges: Yes. Twenty-four karat. [laughing]
Victor: [pushing Reverend Hedges] Get out of my way. [he takes three gold bullets] Silly old fool.
Reverend Hedges: Beware! Beware of the beast within!
[closing the door, then cut to the house with Gromit sitting in a chair, then looking at a newspaper saying, "Beast Strikes Again!", then beeping at "breakfast", then pulling a switch with vegetables falling on the table, then Wallace falling in the chair, then snoring then shirt to put on with face with a Were-Rabbit’s ears]
Wallace: Perfect re-entry, Gromit. This veg diet’s doing the trick, eh, lad? I feel smashing. [he takes a bite of a carrot] So how’s our rabbit-monster? Hope you’re keeping an eye on him.
[Gromit nods]
Wallace: [looking around] What’s up, dog?
[Gromit holds a mirror to Wallace with a face]
Wallace: Well, fancy that. Rabbit ears. That is a bit odd.
[Gromit puts the mirror away, then getting a newspaper]
Wallace: And what are you tryin’ to say, lad?
[Gromits taps on the newspaper, then pointing at Wallace]
Wallace: What? What? What? You think I’m the…? Because of these? Oh, no. No. This is just a reaction to that healthy veg diet you’ve got me on. It’s the toxins coming out. [patting on the dog] Silly old pooch. Thinking I’m the beast.
[Gromit puts the newspaper down]
Wallace: Next thing you’ll be saying is that Hutch is turning into me. [he looks at a newspaper]
[Gromit snaps, and turns the lights off, then opening a door]
Wallace: Hey. What are you doing, lad? Have you gone completely mad?
[they both hear him, rumbling]
Hutch: Cheese!
Wallace: Cheese?
[gives the cheese to Wallace, then Hutch appears, looking like dramatic stomping steps at first, Gromit gives the cheese to Hutch, then swallowing it]
Hutch: I do like a bit of Gorgonzola.
Wallace: Oh, dear.
[they all start setting the carnival]
Lady Tottington: Perfect.
Man 1: Ma’am.
Lady Tottington: Now, let’s see.
[two man running past with a model fire engine]
Man 2: Coming through!
Man 3: Mind your backs!
Lady Tottington: Oh, ha ha! The trombola’s arrived. And the bouncy Tottington Hall. Splendid!
[the man starts pumping the bounce house]
Lady Tottington: [opening a box with a golden trophy with a carrot, saying, "Golden Carrot"] It’s going to be such a jolly competition tonight. I just know it. [Mrs. Mulch's head pops up from a cutout of a muscular man]
Mrs. Mulch: Ya don’t know nothin’.
Lady Tottington: What?
Mrs. Mulch: The beast has struck again. That’s what. [Her head pops off as she shoves the cutout away]
Woman 1: That’s right!
Lady Tottington: No no no, you’re quite mistaken, Mrs. Mulch. The beast is in captivity.
Mr. Windfall: Oh, yeah? Then just take a look at my wife’s brassicas. Ravaged in the night.
Lady Tottington: But I don’t understand. Anti-Pesto told me…
Mr. Windfall: A pack of lies!
Mr. Caliche: It’s not safe to bring our vegetables here. The show’s off.
Lady Tottington: But this is simply dreadful news. The Tottingtons have held a *giant vegetable competition on this very night for over 500 years.
Mr. Growbag: That’s right. Not even the Great Duck Plague of ‘53 stopped it.
Lady Tottington: If only there were another way.
Victor: [uses a gun to shot at the bunnies] What ho!
Man 4: It’s Quartermaine.
Victor: Heard you had a spot of rabbit bother. [whistles at the gun]
Wallace: [uses by trying to fix the Mind Manipulation-omatic] Didn’t this bit used to…? Now now, let’s see. Oh. Where does this part go? [the part that turned into a carrot] Ooh! [he then sniffing the part, then chewing] Oh, it’s hopeless! [Wallace throws the part to Gromit] I’ll never fix this flippin’ machine! Me mind’s just a rabbit-y mush! [sobbing] Oh, Gromit. I don’t wanna be a giant rabbit! [blowing his nose with his ears]
Hutch: Aww, the bounce is gone from his bungee.
[Gromit gives Wallace a hug, then Hutch takes the part, looking, then Gromit continues Wallace to stop sobbing]
Hutch: Hey, presto! Rabbit rehabilitation.
Wallace: But if I can’t fix it…
Hutch: [puts the parts together] Cheddar.
Wallace: …maybe the other me can!
Hutch: I’m inventing, mostly.
Wallace: Look at me go! I’m a genius.
[they hear a doorbell]
Wallace: Ah! Oh ‘eck! I can’t answer the door. Not like this.
Hutch: Charming. I’m Wallace.
Wallace: Ah, I already am! Hutch!
[Hutch opens the door, then Wallace runs]
Hutch: Geronimo!
Lady Tottington: Wallace?
Wallace: [grabs Hutch] Erm, hang on a mo’. [closing the door, whimpering]
Lady Tottington: Wallace? Hello? I say. Open this door at once. [Wallace comes out with a winter cap]
Wallace: Oh ha ha ha, Totty.
Lady Tottington: Lady Tottington, if you don’t mind.
Wallace: Oh.
Lady Tottington: I’m afraid I have some rather bad news, Wallace. Thing is, well, you’ve rather let me down with this beastly beast business.
Wallace: I suppose I have.
Lady Tottington: Yes. It’s obvious to me that you have absolutely no idea where this poor creature is. And I’m afraid you’ve given me no option but to let Victor shot the poor thing.
Wallace: S-S-Shoot it?
Lady Tottington: Yes. Wasn’t an easy choice, but the veg competition has to come first. Besides…

[the ears stars to grow into Were-Rabbit’s ears. Wallace screams and hides them]

Lady Tottington: …Victor’s promised me it won’t suffer. It will be quick and painless.
Wallace: [the hands grow into Were-Rabbit’s hands. He hides them] How thoughtful.
Lady Tottington: I cannot deny it was a difficult decision to me. Because I’ve recently developed…
Wallace: Hurry!
[the feet grow into Were-Rabbit’s feet]
Lady Tottington: …feelings for you.
Wallace: Feelings? Oh, well, never mind, eh? Ta-ra, then.
Lady Tottington: [holding the door] Wait! Wallace! I haven’t finished, yet. There’s more that need to be said.
Wallace: Well, I’ll give you a tinkle, shall I?
Lady Tottington: Can’t we at least shake hands? Part as friends?
Wallace: It’s not very [buck teeth come out] convenient at the moment. Thanks for coming by. [closing the door]
Lady Tottington: Well, I… I… [walks away, then hears and sees Wallace blowing raspberry, then crying]
Victor: That’s right, my lovely. You can say goodbye to your fluffy lover-boy.
[Phillip gives the gun to Victor]
Wallace: You gotta help me, Gromit! Hide me. Anything. Before it’s too late! Lad!
Hutch: Your Lordship.
[Gromit looks out of the window with Victor and Phillip, then holding a rug with Wallace, then opening a door, then bringing a rug outside, then getting stuck to go out, then sniffing the carrots, then eating, then Hutch starts gets out of the jacket]
Hutch: Good night, Gromit.
[Victor kisses the bullet, then putting in the gun, then cocking, then whistling, then the female rabbit appears, then giving her a wink, then the male rabbit comes to fight the big rabbit, and Victor trying to break a door, then kissing on the female rabbit’s arm, then honking the tail, then slapping the male rabbit, then snorting, then Victor appears, then using a handle ball by bouncing with Wallace and Gromit, then Victor uses a gun to shoot at the big rabbits. The gunshot echoes]
Mr. Growbag: ‘Tis done.
[Lady Tottington sobs]
Reverend Hedges: My poor sensitive child. Allow us to share in your moment of sorrow. Yeah!
[they all cheer with the fireworks. The lights come on]
Reverend Hedges: On with the show!
[cut to Victor, holding a gun, then grabbing the head then ripping off]
Victor: What the…? [throws the head away] Why you…
[the dog barks]
Victor: [looking at the fireworks] Of course. The vegetable competition. [cut to Gromit in a cage] Your loyalty is moving. Sadly, you won’t be. Come along, Phillip. Everyone’s been looking foward to a good show. Let’s see they get one. [Phillip kicks the stick by closing the cage, leaving Gromit in, then shaking it, then sobbing]
[cut to the carnival with fireworks, then shooting at the bunnies, then shooting a stuffed toy,
Mr. Growbag: Hooray!
Reverend Hedges: Mr. Growbag. I… I have a hunch this’ll be a night to remember.
Mr. Growbag: I just have a lunch.
PC Mackintosh: [on megaphone] All right. All right. If we must do this flipping veg show, let’s do it in an orderly and law-abiding fashion. [pointing at a gun target] Cucumbers, give way to marrows. Carrots, wait your turn!
Mrs. Mulch: Aubergines…
Victor: There’s our bait, Phillip. All we have to do now is wait for our fluffy friend to appear. [Eyes appear on Victor's target]
Mrs. Girdling: Look over here, everyone! It’s Victor!
Man: He’s here!
Mrs. Girdling: Our hero.
Miss Thripp: Please, sir, kiss my baby.
Victor: Another time, perhaps.
Mr. Dibber: [holding a potato] Kiss my potato.
Victor: Not now.
Mr. Growbag: Kiss my artichoke.
Victor: Look, just…
Lady Tottington: Victor.
Victor: Campanula!
Lady Tottington: Victor, I have to know. Did it suffer?
Victor: Of course not, my dear. Not yet, anyway.
Lady Tottington: Victor?
PC Mackintosh: Oi, you.
Victor: Constable.
PC Mackintosh: Careful with them capsicums.
Victor: [to PC Mackintosh] Listen, I don’t want to cause panic, but the beast isn’t actually dead yet.
PC Mackintosh: [Saying it, with megaphone in hand, in front of Victor's ear] The beast isn’t actually dead yet?
Man: What?
[They all stop the carnival to stare at Victor and Mackintosh. A candy floss ball rolls like a tumbleweed, Victor has his hand on his face, shaking his head slowly.]
PC Mackintosh: Oops.
[they all run away from the carnival]
Lady Tottington: To the competition stand!
[Gromit uses a shovel to try to get out of the cage, then breaking a shovel, leaving Gromit in the cage, then throwing a broken part]

Hutch: Cracking toast, Gromit. I’m just crackers about cheese. Monterey Jack. Mmm. [Gromit throws a broken part at the gnome, blinking in red while buzzing, then blinking in red while buzzing, saying, "Launch"]

Hutch: Smashing Wensleydale.
[the mechanical hand gives the cheese to Hutch, then back in, then flipping in bed sliding, with a cap on, then the mechanical hands lets go like a catapult, then falling, and in the van, then pressing "Autostart", then going in reverse, then letting Gromit out of the cage]
Hutch: Job well done, lad.
[cut to Gromit pressing 4-2-5, then opening the door of the greenhouse, then taking the blanket off the marrow, then looking at a picture saying, "Giant Vegetable Competition at Tottington Hall", then cutting it with a knife, then cut back to the carnival]
Victor: Quiet! Quiet! [shooting a gun] Now, listen carefully. I’ve only got two, [corrects himself] I’ve only got one gold bullet left. [Victor puts the bullet in and cocks it] So leave this to me.
Man: What?! Like last time?!
Victor: Yes, all right, I admit the beast is still at large. But the good news is your prize vegetables are the perfect bait…
Mrs. Mulch: Bait?
Victor: …that will draw the creature like a magnet. But you must keep still...
Mrs. Mulch: My baby.
Victor: …Don't fletch...
Mr. Mulch: There, there, love.
Victor: Don’t even move a muscle.
Mr. Mulch: It’ll be all... [realizes that she was not there with the riders in panic]
Lady Tottington: Mrs. Mulch! No!
Mrs. Mulch: [putting a pumpkin on, rolling] It’s not getting my baby!
[cut back to driving]
Hutch: Lovely food. For rabbits, that is.
[Gromit puts the rope on the marrow, then cut back to the carnival]
Mr. Mulch: Come back!
Mr. Windfall: Come back!
[the cup and spoon begins to rattle]
Victor: Yes. Right on cue.
All: Come back!
All: Go away!
Victor: That’s right. Come to Uncle Victor.
[Gromit drives in the van crashing it, saying "Beer Tent", then continues with Mrs. Mulch, running]
Man: It’s coming for us!
Victor: Bingo. [the van drives by Victor, then Gromit uses like wakeboarding] What the…? [looking at Gromit, wakeboarding, growling]
Lady Tottington: Hurrah for Anti-Pesto!
Mr. Caliche: It’s getting away!
Victor: Get off, you stupid…
Miss Thripp: Give me that. [takes the gun away]
Victor: No!
[the gun shoots at the van, with Hutch in the van, then the Were-Rabbit comes out]
Victor: Vicar, I need more gold bullets!
Reverend Hedges: They don’t come cheap, you know.
[Victor looks at the golden carrot, and the gun, and the fireworks, then continues with Gromit and the Were-Rabbit]
Lady Tottington: Victor! What are you doing?
Victor: I need it, my sweet. Emergency.
Lady Tottington: Victor, no! Please!
Victor: Come, now, Campanula, let go.
Lady Tottington: But it’s my Golden Carrot Award!
Victor: This is hardly the time, my darling. Give it to me this instant!
Lady Tottington: But Victor!
[the Were-Rabbit growls]
Hutch: Cheese, Gromit.
[the van comes in the cheese tent, then Gromit comes in destroying the marrow]
Lady Tottington: The Golden Carrot belongs in the show!
Victor: No, the Golden Carrot belongs in the Were-Rabbit!
[the Were-Rabbit punches Victor’s head]
Man: Every man for himself!
[the Were-Rabbit grabs Lady Tottington]
Lady Tottington: Help! Help! Help me! Put me down at once, you great big hairy thing, you! Stop! Stop!
Mr. Caliche: [putting a paper reading "Angry Mob" over "Garden"] Mob supplies! Get your angry mob supplies here.
[Victor’s heads goes back out with the toupee off, then Gromit gets out of the marrow]
Mrs. Girdling: Put her down, you great ugly brute!
[they both scream]
Mrs. Mulch: [using a chainsaw] I’ll bagsy the lucky rabbit’s foot.
Lady Tottington: Help me, someone! Help me!
Victor: [takes the Golden Carrot off] Yes.
[Gromit runs to Phillip, growling, then Victor climbs up the building, looking at the Were-Rabbit]
Victor: No. No, no, no!
[Victor swings into the candy floss, spinning, then howling, then they all howl, then breaking into the greenhouse]
Lady Tottington: Put me down! Put me down, you… Whatever you are! Help! [puts her down] What is it? What are you staring at with those beastly eyes? [looking at the Were-Rabbit’s hands as they perform the gesture, gasping] Wallace.
[Gromit runs by the building, then stops, when looking at dogfight game, then inserting the coins, then riding the plane, then Phillip looks at a game saying, "Dogfight", then growling]
Lady Tottington: Oh, Wallace. What ever have you done to yourself? Well, don’t worry. I’ll protect you.
Victor: [he arrives, covered in cotton candy] Get your hairy mitts off my future wife, you big brute.
[Gromit continues riding the plane]
Lady Tottington: No! Victor! You don’t understand. No! The hunt is off. It’s… We made a terrible mistake.
Victor: Oh, no. You commissioned me to rid you of Pesto, and that’s just what I intend to do. [he puts his hand on his mouth] Oop!
Were-Rabbit: Huh?
Lady Tottington: Pesto?
[Gromit continues riding the plane again]
Lady Tottington: Why you- You knew it was Wallace all along!
Victor: Oh, all right. So what if it is that blithering idiot. [up-close] No one will ever believe you.
[Gromit continues riding the plane again, but this time, up a helter skelter]]
Victor: And if I can’t have your money, I can still bag your bunny!
[Lady Tottington grabs the pansy spray, then spraying at Victor’s eyes]
Victor: My eyes!
[Victor sobs]
Lady Tottington: Run, rabbit, run!
[Gromit continues riding the plane, cut to Victor pinning Lady Tottington's hair to a melon, trapping her. Victor turns to leave for Wallace, but looks back at Tottington.]
Victor: I rather like your hair pinned back.
Lady Tottington: No, Victor, no! Stop! Please! Victor!
Victor: You can hop, but you can’t hide, Pesto.

[Gromit continues riding the plane, he is flying towards Victor with an angry expression on his face, he is bumped from the behind by another plane, it is revealed that Philip is riding behind Gromit. Philip laughs. The two fly towards Victor who is unaware and still trying to find Wallace. Victor notices them and loses balance on the roof of the hall, Gromit flies out of the way while Philip bumps into Victor's rear, causing his trousers to be caught on the vane.]

Reverend Hedges: Beware the moon!

[Victor is wedged on the vane, with his bottom bare.]

[Gromit and Philip's planes land, and they ride across the wall of Tottington Hall, Philip bumps into Gromit's plane again, chipping the tail of it. Gromit and Philip fly off of a ramp and land on a different wall. Cut to Victor who is back on the roof.]

Victor: [adjusting his trousers and grabbing the antique gun] Stupid interfering mutt!

[Phillip attacks Gromit’s plane while laughing, seriously chipping the tail of Gromit's plane.]

Philip: Ha!

[Gromit looks on to see that they are quickly nearing the end of the wall, he reaches his hand out to swing off of a nearby pole, he succeeds and continues riding across yet another wall. Philip realises what is about to happen with a shocked expression, his plane derails onto the field, the citizens run away before it lands and explodes. Cut back to Gromit, who looks up to see Victor stealthily traveling across the wall hunting for Wallace. He looks around in panic as Philip peaks his head over the rear of Gromit's plane, revealing he escaped the explosion. Cut to the Were-Rabbit hopping across the roof again, he skids to a stop as he reaches the edge of the roof. He stares down at PC Mackintosh and the citizens. He then looks over his shoulder to see Victor coming up from behind the Dome, he spots the Were-Rabbit and snaps his head towards him, Victor grimaces. The Were-Rabbit turns around fully to face Victor and stumbles back, knocking a statue off the roof, the citizens dart out of the way.]

PC Mackintosh: Stand back! There may be a large rabbit dropping!
[Gromit continues riding with Phillip, then grabbing the hammer, then Gromit grabs the hammer, then Phillip starts to attack Gromit, then the Were-Rabbit grabs on the pole]
Victor: [laughing] Looks like the buck stops here.

[they continue with Gromit and Phillip, then blinking in red while buzzing, saying, "Insert Coins", then the plane stops, then taking a plunger at Phillip, then looking the coins, then dropping, then taking the plunger at Gromit, then opening a bag, picking a coin, then inserting it, then plane starts to go again, then starting to attack Gromit, then flying off of a ramp, then pulling a switch, saying, "Bomb Doors", then Phillip beand then looks over his shoulder. To see that Vins fahas llined while deflating the bounce house, then Gromit uses a shovel and he spins a few times mid-air, then with Victor laughing, holding a gun, then continue to ride in a plane, spinning, then flying]

Victor: Eat karat, bunny boy!

[Gromit continues flying the plane at Victor, then shooting a gun with a golden carrot at the Were-Rabbit, then flying, then the carrot flies closer at the Were-Rabbit, then grabbing a rope, then flying on the plane with a golden carrot, all in slow motion. The carrot hits the plane as the Were-Rabbit cheers]

Victor: [dropping the gun] Potty poo!

[the rabbits all cheer while jumping, then letting go of the rope, giving the Were-Rabbit a high five, then the rabbits stop jumping, then flying down, then the Were-Rabbit gets down of a pole, then they both fall in the tent, then looking at the Were-Rabbit]

Victor: [laughing] No one beats Victor Quartermaine!
Lady Tottington: Is that so? [hits Victor with a big carrot] Consider yourself dumped.

[Victor falls on top of the van, opening a door wearing the big female rabbit as if it were a mascot costume]

Man: He’s in there! There he is! Surround him!
Mr. Leaching: There he is! Over there!
Victor: Phillip, help me! Phillip! Do something.

[Phillip eats the big female rabbit’s tail, causing him to scream in pain]

Reverend Hedges: Destroy! Drive out the monstrosity!

[they all run and get them, being away]

Lady Tottington: Well, let’s see how he likes it. [closing the doors] Wallace?

[Gromit pets the Were-Rabbit, then the rabbits open the doors, then the mind waves from earlier in the movie are being transformed back into Wallace]

Lady Tottington: Oh, Gromit. Well, at least now he’s at peace. The rabbit’s gone. If only there were a way to bring back Wallace. [sobbing, then the rabbits all cry Gromit is about to sober when he hears Hutch laughing]
Hutch: Lovely cheese, Gromit.

[Gromit snaps his fingers as he gets an idea]

Lady Tottington: Gromit?

[Gromit takes a cheese of Stinking Bishop from Hutch's plate]

Hutch: Don’t forget the crackers.

[Gromit uses the cheese to sniff at Wallace]

Wallace: Cheese? [The two (Gromit and Totty) gawk in awe. Wallace eats the cheese] Cheese! It’s me again. I’m back! Gromit! You clever mutt. Well done, old pal! [gives Gromit a hug]

[the rabbits all hug]

Wallace: Totty!
Lady Tottington: Wallace! You’re… Oh! [Giggles]

[puts a box on Wallace covering his nudity. The box is label "Cheese" with a note that says "May Contain Nuts"]

Wallace: Erm, woops! [laughs] Thanks, lad.
Lady Tottington: Oh, look! [picking up the golden carrot] Well, I think you deserve this, Gromit. For a brave and splendid marrow (melon). [gives the golden carrot to Gromit] We’ve all got a lot to thank you for.
Wallace: Aww! [laughs and pats Gromit] Every dog has his day.
Lady Tottington: And thank you, Wallace. You’ve saved me from a terrible marriage. All the same, it is going to be rather lonely at Tottington Hall now. Unless... I have a little proposal for you, Wallace.
[Wallace laughs nervously]

Lady Tottington: I’m so thrilled you agreed to go through with this.
Wallace: My pleasure, Totty. One for the album, Gromit.

[Gromit holds the camera]

Lady Tottington: I declare this bunny sanctuary officially open.

[Gromit takes a picture, then the rabbits in the BV6000 and the cages clap]

Wallace: When you’re ready, lad. Fire up the old BV6000.

[Gromit pulls the switch to "Blow", then the rabbits go in the tube]

Lady Tottington: Oh, it’s simply marvelous. My home, a safe haven for all things fluffy.

[the rabbits come out of all the holes]

Lady Tottington: I do hope you’ll still come visit, Wallace. I’d rather got used to having you around.
Wallace: There’ll always be a part of me here at Tottington Hall. (to Gromit) Give it some more welly, lad.
[last lines, as Gromit pulls the switch]
Hutch: Cheese!

THE END!

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit/Transcript

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