The Wrong Trousers/Transcript

• [Gromit pours the tea in the cup, putting the bread in the toaster, pushing it down, then pushing the toaster away, then getting out of a chair, marking an X on the 12 from the calendar, then looking at a watch, then Wallace sleeps, then Gromit grabs the envelopes, shuffling it up, walking to the table with a train passing by, then sitting in a chair, unboxing an envelope, then opening and closing a music card, then opening a music card, hearing music, hearing a buzzer, saying, "Breakfast", pressing a button]
• Wallace: It's my turn for breakfast this morning, Gromit. I'd like a three-minute egg...
• [Gromit pulls a lever]
• Wallace: Whoa! Steady on! [puts his pants on] Gromit! [sits on his chair]
• [the hands put sleeves on, raising his hands, putting on a shirt, popping his head out]
• Wallace: Ha-ha!
• [Gromit presses a button, shooting jam out, then the toaster pops out, putting jam on it, landing on a plate, eating the toast]
• Wallace: Well, that went as well as could be expected, didn't it? Though I might have to make a small adjustment to the drop. A touch painful on re-entry. [puts toast in his mouth] Cracking toast, Gromit.
• [Gromit continues looking at a newspaper]
• Wallace: [swallows his toast] Any post, was there, perchance?
• [Gromit takes the envelopes to Wallace]
• Wallace: Oh, dear, a bit steep! Oh, my goodness! Well, I'll be... They're all bills. Oh, dear, oh, dear! We shall have to economise, Gromit. I'll have to let that room out. Oh, dear! [takes a picture frame, dialing the locker, opening a locker, taking a piggybank, closing a locker, putting the picture frame back up, sitting back down, taking the cork out, shaking the coins out] Oh. Just look at that. I'm down to my last few coppers. And those presents weren't cheap, either. Gasp!
• [Gromit looks at Wallace]
• Wallace: Well, Gromit, let's see what's on the 9:05, shall we? [hears a train tooting] Here she comes now. I wonder what this can be. Happy birthday, chuck! [takes a present to Gromit]
• [Gromit opens a present, looking at the leash and spikes]
• Wallace: I knew you'd like it. Here, let me help you. [puts spikes around his neck] You look like somebody owns you now. And that's only the first part. Come and look in here.
• [Gromit looks at the Techno Trousers, in a present, walking backwards to Gromit, then looking at the tag with an X, saying, "To Gromit Love Wallace"]
• Wallace: I think you'll find this present a valuable addition to our modern lifestyle![opens a present] They're Techno Trousers. Ex-NASA. Fantastic for walkies! All you do is attach the lead on here... [puts leash on Gromit] ...then program in. Walkies, 10 minutes, 20 minutes. Oops!
• [the Techno Trousers walk down]
• Wallace: Ha ha ha! Have a nice walk, Gromit!
• [cut outside, with a sign, saying, "DOGS MUST BE KEPT ON A LEAD", climbing up on a slide, with the Techno Trousers walking with a dog, then sliding down, then cut to Wallace, dialing on a calculator]
• Wallace: It's no use prevaricating about the bush.
• [cut back outside with Techno Trousers walking with Gromit, then Wallace puts a sign, saying, "ROOM TO LET. Apply Within", throwing Gromit in the house, then knitting it up]
• Wallace: [off screen] Nice walkies, hmm? [to Gromit] How were the Techno Trousers?
• [Gromit hears a doorbell ringing]
• Wallace: Oh, there's someone at the door, Gromit. [puts the teacup away] I wonder who that could be. [walks to a door, opening the door] Oh, it's about the room, then. Well, that's grand. Er, would you like to come this way and inspect? [walks in the kitchen] I'm asking 20 a week. I suppose you like kippers, do you? Partial to a nice black pudding myself. With bacon, of course. I'm sure that we could come to an amicable agreement. As I say, it's a big dangy at present, but it's surprising what a lick of paint'll do, isn't it?
• [the picture frame falls down]
• Wallace: Oh! Er... But I don't think... Hmm. Oh. Er, wasn't quite what we had in mind. Wouldn't you like to see? Oh, dear!
• [Feathers McGraw dances on the bed]
• Wallace: Em look, ha ha, um... There's something I got to tell you. It's, um, no pets. Does that suit you?
• [Feathers McGraw changes the music to Tie a Yellow Ribbon]
• Wallace: Seems pleasant enough. Cheer up, Gromit. It's a surprising what a lick of paint'll do, isn't it? [pounds on the wall]
• [cut to Gromit, looking at a book, putting his leg up, then putting a book on the leg, dropping it, going faster to Wallace, climbing up]
• Wallace: Oh! So that's where my braces went! [climbs down]
• [Gromit walks on the ceiling, painting it]
• Wallace: Wonderful things, these Techno Trousers. Oh! I'm sorry.
• [Feathers McGraw walks to Gromit, painting on a ceiling, then sleeping in a bed, hearing music, getting up, knocking the door, sleeping in a bed, hearing a glass break, then Feathers McGraw walks in the house, turning off the light, then the music stops, then Gromit sniffles, then cut to Gromit by the bathroom down, with Wallace walking downstairs]
• Wallace: Lovely morning, Gromit!
• [Gromit eats cereal, watching the TV, then Feathers McGraw brings shoes to Wallace, putting them on]
• Wallace: Oh, thank you very much. That's just grand.
• [Gromit looks at the cereal and the TV, then the newspaper lands by Gromit, then Feathers McGraw takes the newspaper]
• Wallace: Oh, thank you! What do you think of that, Gromit, eh? Our playing guest. [laughing]
• [Gromit hears thunder]
• Wallace: Ha ha ha! Nice drop of Bordeaux, this, eh? Here's to paying guests. Ahh, more cheese, penguin?
• [Gromit turns the light on, grabbing a blanket, brush, bone, and clock, tying it up, then looking at a picture frame, then turning the light back off, walking in the rain]
• Wallace: [off screen] Good night, penguin. Sleep well! [turns the light off]
• [Gromit walks away, looking at the house, closing the gate, then Feathers McGraw looks at Wallace, grabbing a book, saying, "ELECTRONICS FOR DOGS", using a screwdriver, whirring it up, then the clock rings in the trash can, opening it up, looking around, hiding back down, then cut to Wallace, sleeping]
• Wallace: That was lovely cheese.
• [the bed tilts down, sliding Wallace down, landing in the Techno Trousers]
• Wallace: It's the wrong trousers! The wrong trousers! What have you done with the controls, Gromit? [looking around, noticing that Gromit isn't there, putting his leg up] Now, that'll do. Hold on a minute. Stop it! Gromit! [walks faster] Stop those confounded things! This isn't funny, Gromit! [continues walking faster] The joke's over! Get me out of these trousers! [bounces up and down] Lovely day!
• [cut to Gromit, pointing at a paper, saying, "ROOM TO LET REASONABLE TERMS", moving the hand away, saying, "NO DOGS! APPLY WITHIN", shaking his head, looking at Feathers McGraw, saying, "WANTED HAVE YOU SEEN THIS CHICKEN? 1000 REWARD", with Wallace running faster]
• Wallace: Help! Gromit! [continues running faster] Oh gangway! Whoa! [bounces up and down] Sorry! [crashes inside] Whoa! It's the wrong trousers, Gromit, and they've gone wrong! Stop them, Gromit, stop them! Help me! Help me! Gromit! The wrong trousers have gone haywire! Get me out! Help!
• [Gromit looks at Feathers McGraw, walking away, then Wallace hops around]
• Wallace: [walks in the house] Oh, I'm tired! A good doze. That's what I need, get me strength back. [sits on a bed] What a... What a shocking calam... calam... calamity. [sleeps in a bedroom]
• [Feathers McGraw walks away by Wallace, looking at Feathers McGraw walking away, putting the newspaper down, then putting the money down, looking at Feathers McGraw, looking around, writing on a notebook, grabbing a box, walking down, cutting the box, looking at Feathers McGraw, measuring it, dropping it, putting it back in, then measuring it up, looking at Feathers McGraw going up, measuring a window, putting it back in, going back down, putting the scale back in, looking at Feathers McGraw, then Feathers McGraw looks at Gromit, then walking away by the box, saying, "MEATABIX DOG FOOD", then Gromit looks around, then pushing a door, grabbing a torn piece of bone wallpaper, walking to the desk, turning the lamp on, looking at the paper, saying, "CITY MUSEUM DIAMOND EXHIBITION", and the diamond, saying, "BLUE DIAMOND", with penguin door closing it, saying, "PUSH", turning the lamp off, then Feathers McGraw climbs up, looking at Gromit, looking at Feathers McGraw carrying a box, grabbing a mirror, carrying a helmet, then grabbing a remote control, hiding it, pressing a button, moving the legs out, groaning, then closing the door, with the bed wobbling, with Gromit falling down, wearing pants, raising his arms up, putting his shirt on, then putting sleeves on, then shooting jam, with the toaster lever popping up, shooting at Gromit, then cut back to Wallace and Feathers McGraw, putting a leg on the wall, walking on a wall, then Feathers McGraw walks by a window, then Wallace continues walking up, walking on top of a building, then he continues walking, then Feathers McGraw looks at a paper, walking on the metal smoke, going inside the air vent, then Feathers McGraws looks at a paper, saying, "AIR VENT", going to down a diamond, saying, "STOP HERE DIAMOND", then looking at a diamond, pulling the lever down, then he continues walking by the lasers, pulling the lever down, with the code, saying, "BURGLAR", yawning, then he continues walking, walking to the diamond, pressing the button, trying to get a diamond, then walking backwards, pressing the buttons, trying to get the diamond again, then walking forward, pressing the button, grabbing a diamond, with the diamond falling off of a claw, pressing the buttons, grabbing the diamond, rising up in his helmet, then walking on a ceiling, taking apart, with the claw falling down on a laser, then beeping, saying, "BURGLAR", then shaking around]
• Wallace: What's going on? Where am I?! What's going on?! Yikes!
• [Feathers McGraw continues pushing the buttons, then the door continues closing]
• Wallace: Gromit! Gromit! I must be dreaming! Where the devil am I?! [spins around] Oh! Great heavens up above! Whatever is it? Help! Get me down! Help! What's the game, then, eh? Where am I? I've had quite enough! You'll be hearing my solicitor about this! Eee! Ow! Mind how you go! You can't go taking liberties like this. I'm a respectable citizen! [continues running faster] It's definitely not illegal, this.
• [Feathers McGraw pushes a button, stopping the Techno Trousers, taking the glove off of his head]
• Wallace: Good grief! It's you! Now, get me out of those trousers this minute! [walks backwards in a shelf] Steady on, will you? This wardrobe's nearly new, you know. Let me out!
• [Feathers McGraw puts a diamond in the bag]
• Wallace: I'll give you what for, you tyke!
• [Feathers McGraw walks to Gromit, pounding his rolling pin, cocking the gun, then Gromit raises his arms up]
• Wallace: Excuse me? Em, hello? I should think so, too. Hey!
• [Feathers McGraw locks the wardrobe]
• Wallace: Well, this is a fine how you do, isn't it, Gromit?
• [Gromit pulls his trousers down]
• Wallace: Steady on! Watch where your putting them paws!
• [the cords electrocute]
• Wallace: Careful, lad! Oh, my goodness, it'll ruin the woodwork!
• [the wardrobe shakes back and forth]
• Wallace: There goes me knotted pine! Where are we going? I can't see a thing!
• [Feathers McGraw runs away, by Wallace and Gromit]
• Wallace: What's happening?!
• [Feathers McGraw slides on a train]
• Wallace: [muffled] Catch him, Gromit!
• [the wardrobe fall down, spinning around on a light, shooting a gun at the light, falling down, then shooting at Gromit, shooting at the light, then shooting at the push door, pressing a button, going left, then Wallace walks on the train, shooting a gun at the light]
• Wallace: Don't worry, Gromit! I'm, oh! Right behind you!
• [Feathers McGraw shoots at Wallace, going on another track]
• Wallace: Hang in there, Gromit! Everything's under control! [takes a gun] I'll have that if you mind, eh? [flies in the picture frame, flying in a trolley]
• [the train continues going faster, throwing the light away, climbing up]
• Wallace: Tally ho! Leave him to me. I'll get the bounder! [the net captures the moose, looking at Wallace, then Feathers McGraw unhooks the train] Get him, Gromit!
• [Feathers McGraw pushes a lever, going straight, then going left by Wallace and Gromit]
• Wallace: Gromit, we're doomed!
• [Gromit grabs the box, putting the tracks on]
• Wallace: Mind the table, Gromit!
• [Wallace slides under the table, then Feathers McGraw continues riding the train, passing by Feathers McGraw]
• Wallace: [grabs a train] Gotcha! [looks at Feathers McGraw sliding a train car] All yours, Gromit!
• [Gromit continues putting tracks on, with the Techno Trousers hitting Feathers McGraw, flying him to Wallace, then Gromit continues putting tracks on, hitting the wall, with the jar landing at Gromit, then Feathers McGraw lands in a jar, holding a bag]
• Wallace: Attaboy, Gromit, lad! Well done! We did it! Ha ha!
• [the Techno Trousers walk by Feathers McGraw, throwing him in the office, putting him in jail, shaking it up, zooming out, saying, "WELCOME TO THE ZOO", with an arrow, saying, "ENTRANCE", then Gromit puts shoes by Wallace]
• Wallace: Thank you, old friend. Many thanks, indeed. That reward money paid off all our debts. No more lodgers. More trouble than they're worth. [puts coins in the piggybank] I could just fancy some cheese, Gromit. What do you say? Cheddar? Don't forget the crackers.
• [Gromit looks at the Techno Trousers]
• Wallace: All's well that ends well, that's what I say. [eats a bread]
• [the Techno Trousers walk by Wallace and Gromit]
• Wallace: Oh, I do like a bit of Gorgonzola.
• [Gromit looks at a newspaper, then the Techno Trousers walk down in the end credits]