A Matter of Loaf and Death/Transcript

• [the baker puts dough on wood, grabbing a rolling pin, grabbing the hat]
• Baker: Oh, it's you. Eh? No!
• [the rolling pin hits the baker, putting glasses on the back, then the title card appears, then Gromit looks at a newspaper, hearing an alarm clock, pressing a button, with megaphones spinning around, buzzing, then Gromit fills a water balloon, putting on a windmill, saying, "Wallace & Gromit's TRADITIONAL BAKERY"]
• Wallace: Lovely cheese.
• [Gromit hits the windmill, with the water balloon falling on Wallace]
• Wallace: I could just wash it down with nice...
• [the water balloon falls on Wallace]
• Wallace: I was just coming, lad.
• [Gromit takes the bread out, pulling the lever]
• Wallace: Up away, Gromit! [slides down, putting pants on] With you in a jiffy! [slides down] Tally-ho.
• [Gromit continues riding down, then Wallace continues sliding down]
• Wallace: Oh, no!
• [Gromit moves the slide down]
• Wallace: Thanks, lad!
• [the hand touches Wallace, then Gromit puts bread in, closing the door, saying, "Dough to Door DELIVERY", rising a hat]
• Wallace: Fill 'er up, lad!
• [Gromit presses the tea button, driving out of the garage, drinking tea]
• Wallace: Ah. Lovely cuppa, Gromit! But, a slightly diesel-y aftertaste, perhaps? How's the breakfast going on?
• [Gromit puts toast on the plate]
• Wallace: Well done, lad. [looks at a toast] Very well done! [eats toast] Thanks, chuck! Whoa! Oh, dear.
• [Gromit puts his hat up]
• Wallace: Another baker, battered with his own rolling pin. Would you credit it? Still, looking on the bright side, I suppose it means business for us, eh, Gromit? We're on a roll, lad!
• [Gromit goes inside the shop, then Wallace throws bread at the door at 83, then Gromit throws a bread at the door at 9, throwing bread in the mailbox at 25, throwing bread in the mailbox at 72, throwing bread in the mailbox at 118]
• Wallace: Good day's work, lad. We're bang on... [looks at Piella and Fluffles] ...target. [throws bread at the woman, looking at Piella and Fluffles]
• [Piella rides in the sky, winking, hearing a bike ringing]
• Piella: Coo-ey!
• Wallace: Gromit! Did you see who that was?
• Piella: Help! Help!
• Wallace: She's in trouble!
• [the van stops, then Piella tries to stop the bike, going faster]
• Piella: Ooh, help! Argh!
• [the van drives to Piella, trying to stop the bike, going faster]
• Wallace: Here, Gromit. Take the wheel.
• Piella: Help! Help!
• [Gromit puts the wheel in the van, then Wallace leaps on the bike]
• Wallace: Don't fret, madam! Teacakes, lad. The wholemeal fruit, on me knees!
• [Gromit throws cookies at Wallace, deflating on the bike]
• Wallace: I should have tried the granary rolls.
• [they all go in the zoo]
• Wallace: Oh, 'eck! [looks at a sign, saying, "DO NOT FEED THE CROCODILES"]
• [the bike bumps on the wall, then they fall down, saving Piella, withe Fluffles falling down, then Gromit saves Fluffles, then Gromit climbs up]
• Wallace: Oh. Oh, dear. All you all right, Miss Madam?
• Piella: Oh, I do apologize!
• Wallace: Oh! It's an honor to be of help.
• Piella: I must get those brakes seen to. We're so grateful, aren't we, Fluffles? [kicks Fluffles]
• Wallace: Oh, it was nothing! Oh, what a lovely little doggy!
• Piella: My name's Piella. Piella Bakewell.
• Wallace: Oh, I know who you are, miss! [singing] Light as a feather, you're the Bake-O-Lite girl!
• Piella: Oh! That's me!
• Wallace: I'm Wallace. I'm in bread myself.
• Piella: Oh, really?
• Wallace: Are you still ballooning, Miss...
• Piella: I do beg your pardon?!
• Wallace: Oh, no, no! I mean, the Bake-O-Lite balloon. Do you still fly it?
• Piella: Oh! Oh, I see. No. Not anymore.
• Wallace: Well, back to the grind, as it were. Goodbye, Ms. Bakewell.
• Piella: Oh, I'd rather say "au revoir."
• Wallace: Oh, oui, oui, madame! And bon appetit!
• Piella: Bye!
• Wallace: [puts dough on top] The Bake-O-Lite girl! Fancy that, Gromit! It's not every day you meet the girl of your dreams, is it? [looks at Piella] Oh, well. This isn't going to put bread on the table, is it? [hears a doorbell] Oh. Oh, hello.
• Piella: We were just passing by, going for a walk, and Fluffles insisted of dropping in, hoping you would join us. Please say yes, she'll be disappointed, wouldn't you, Fluffy? [kicks Fluffles] Wouldn't you, Fluffy?
• [Fluffles walks to Wallace]
• Wallace: Oh! Well, if you insist, but I'm in me work things.
• Piella: I like a man in a uniform. Come on! Walkies!
• Wallace: Manage without me, won't you, lad? [closing the door]
• [cut outside, feeding the birds]
• Wallace: Oh, crumbs!
• [cut back inside, cooking bread, opening the oven, hearing a doorbell]
• Piella: Oh, Mr. Wallace, you are cheeky!
• Wallace: Oh, am I?
• [they all row in a boat, switching to hot, then Wallace dances with Piella, then Gromit switches to very hot, putting dough on it, then Gromit sleeps in his bed, putting a pillow on his face, then Gromit wakes up, hearing an alarm clock, turning it off, then Gromit drives in the house, taking his hat off, looking at the trash, closing the door, looking at the clothes, walking on shoes]
• Wallace: Oh, makes a change, doesn't it, my fudge cake? Gromit's gonna love this!
• Piella: Well, I thought you could do a woman's touch around the house, you naughty, slovenly boys!
• Wallace: What do you think, Gromit? You wouldn't know it was our place, would you, lad?
• [Gromit walks in, looking at the poster with dogs, saying, "Let's be friends!", looking at the pillows, vase, grabbing the flowers, putting in the trash, hearing a knock, then he puts the flowers back in the vase, looking at Fluffles]
• Piella: Care for another sausage, you greedy thing?
• Wallace: Don't mind if I do.
• Piella: My, what an appetite!
• [Gromit holds the box to Fluffles, taking it, giggling, taking about a soundtrack]
• Piella: Fluffles! Where are you?
• Wallace: Same time tomorrow, my apple strudel! [closing the door, taking off his apron] Oh, love is a many-splendoured thing, Gromit, but it doesn't half tire out! I'm cream-crackered! Oh, 'eck! [looks at a purse] Piella's purse! I must return it forthwith. [looks at the rain] Oh, erm, Gromit? [closing the door]
• [Gromit walks to the door, shaking it off, opening the door, looking around, hearing the TV, inaudible, walking in, closing the door, then Gromit tries to knock at the door, hearing thunder, walking upstairs, slowly, hearing thunder, looking at wooden people wearing chef hats, looking at 12, then looking at 13, looking at the head, with his chef hat off, then looking at a book, putting the purse down, looking around, opening a book, with Piella and chef with a red X on it, looking in the mirror, flipping another page with Piella and chef with a red X on it, looking in the mirror, flipping another page with Piella and chef with a red X on it, flipping pages, with red Xs on it, looking at Piella and Wallace, transitioning the wood into 13 with the chef hat off, knocking down like dominoes, then Piella opens the door, grabbing the wood with number 6, then Piella walks up the stairs, turning the light on]